CATHOLICS ARE SOOOOO JOYOUS!

The author of THIS SITE caused me to take a look back in time to my Catholic high school daze. I didn't go down memory lane willingly. I hated school with a passion. I was always the loner; the outcast, the seemingly weird kid.......no one knew quite how to take me as I tried to fit in with the IN crowd.

I soon learned that they weren't worth the effort. Why should I join a group that left me yawning in my beer during lunchtime.

So I drifted in my own direction, and ran smack dab into a tiny clutch of kids with the same problem. Didn't fit in.

These were gorgeous girls, but timid to the MAX and all they needed........ALL THEY NEEDED, was someone a little off the graph to give them some enjoyment in their lives.

What my problem basically was, was a long history of reading. Hitting the books because I enjoyed it. I didn't have to carry them like a badge of superiority like the IN group.

I took my written exams and handed in my pencil while the IN crowd was dripping sweat over what they might have forgotten to remember. They were straight A students, but so was I, and because I didn't struggle over it, I was excluded from the pack.

So now I had a new reason for attending school. Letting the inner demon OUT!!

But before you think I was packing baggies full of weed, we're talking the 60's.....but we're talking CATHOLIC HELL HIGH SCHOOL. Complete with nuns dressed like the grim reaper, and priests who hadn't learned to fondle the merchandise yet.

I didn't drink alcohol. Didn't smoke pot. And the closest I ever came to doing drugs was at Walgreens when I bought aspirin.

I don't know WHERE the bad girl image came from but in looking back at my photo albums, it might have had something to do with red hair to my waist and one of those bodies that gave me the "stripper on a pole look". ---now gone forever ---but at the time, I pulled that bad girl image on like a full body condom and never looked back.

And the nuns.................THEY HAD THEIR EYE ON ME!!!

And the priests.......well.....they were still young themselves....(THEY THOUGHT I WAS A HOOT) but they still had to "correct me" when sister Ann, or sister Barbarella thought I was being disrespectful.

After a while, the priests realized that they were overlooking a bonanza and started to make my punishments more enjoyable for me and my girls, as well as profitable for themselves. So, on any given day, you could look out any window at school and see up to three redheads gaily washing the priests cars while the rest of the anthill was deeply engrossed in Catechisim 101.

I must add here that my grades started dropping like a company of blind roofers. And the SPLAT could be heard for miles. But the dies had been cast and I proceded to get extremely bored and restless.

My main nemesis was Sister Barbarella. English. 101.

She had it in for me and on one particular day, I was sitting sideways in my desk in my best impression of "I don't give a shit" and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her.....sneaking around the classroom......stalking me with the silence of a cougar behind a lone gazelle in the underbrush................

Main note: I*SAW*HER*COMING* I*REMAINED* AS*STILL*AS*IF *I*WAS*POSING*FOR*A*PHOTOGRAPH.

As the yardstick came whistling through the air, to land on my desk with enough force to snap it in two, I remained totally unmoving....did not flinch an inch..........but....

The poor, unsuspecting girl in front of me, sprang about two feet into the air , yelled "FUCK!!!!" and crashed to the floor in a dead faint.

Those priests had the cleanest cars in town.