FRIDAY'S READER'S SPECIAL and a tribute to my VERY special buddies*`

I'M PUTTING THIS POST UP FIRST AS A TRIBUTE TO MY FRIENDS. YOU'VE GOT MY BACK AND I APPRECIATE IT. I ALSO AM AMAZED AT THE PISS AND VINEGAR THAT YOU ALL SHOW IN MY DEFENSE. WOW!

and, I wouldn't do this for just anybody, but for you, I'm posting an updated grainy photo of myself that I took on my computer camera while I was reading these particular comments.

"LOOK AT WHAT THESE WOMEN CREATED"

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Kathi D said...

That is a sad pear.

answer: Leave it to Kathi to see two gorgeous cards and zero in on the food. And it's a PERFECT pear. Soft and sweet and very, very juicy on the inside. . . . Oh Joe. NOT AGAIN!!!

Demeur said...

Shoot you just reminded me to get my cards out. Oh well I guess it's going to be Emails this year. Okay call me cheap.

answer: cheap

BBC said...

For what it cost them to make them and send them to you they could have kept a woman from dying of starvation for another day or two by just sending the money to those that are trying to help.

It only costs 25 cents a day to keep a woman or child from starving to death. Assuming that aid can get to them.

Never mind, enjoy your pretty christmas and presents.

answer: Did I just feel someone rattling my cage? For those of you who do not know BBC, he's a self proclaimed man of immense intelligence and uncontested humanitarianism. Unless you actually read his blog and learn otherwise.

Beyond that, I want to add: Where do "they" live? It costs more than that for my daily vitamin! Not to mention my daily alcohol consumption. And "assuming that aid can get to them" leaves a lot to be desired where my instinct to "send now, think later" is concerned. So why don't we appoint you as the treasurer and you can take my quarter immediately. I want to sponsor a woman willing to beat the crap out of you and I'll increase it to FIFTY CENTS.

On a serious note, being none of your business, I give where I choose even though I doubt if it helps all that much, but you're in no position to judge ANYONE.

Revka said...

Absolutely beautiful - lucky you! :)

answer: I too, appreciate these talented women for giving others joy.

ettarose said...

Dana, Of course you are loved. Think of the love that went into those cards. BBC I am mad at. I have a charity website and a charity blog and I would NEVER chastise someone on their turf like that. Shame on you. Charity is up to that person and is a choice. Never shame someone into giving. Sorry Dana.

answer: SORRY? Girl, did you take a nice pill??? This is MY blog and you are welcome to let 'er rip any time you feel the urge.

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

Charity begins at home----OOH, I forgot I'm selling mine.

answer: Oh Gary. Let's get some visitors to come help you move. Except for BBC. I"m sure he's got the perfect place in mind for those wonderful wrought iron cranes on your patio. . . . oh darn. You gave them away already. I'm with you in spirit darlin and you know it.

nikkicrumpet said...

The handmade cards are beautiful...but I'm really impressed that you adorned your picture with a pear...very "still Life" of you.

answer: Rats, and busted. Nikki, you realize that the only piece of health food in my house was that pear. I had to do something that didn't include cheetos.

nikkicrumpet said...

sheesh just read grumpy BBC man's comment...maybe I know where else you can put that pear......

answer: As if it would fit. I doubt it you could get a greased toothpick up that man's butt.

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

Absolutely beautiful cards!

answer: Welcome to our newest HUMORBLOGGER member! Glad to see you here.

hellesbelles86 said...

Ooooh Pretty cards altho I have to agree that BBC was a bit rude there but I guess people think they have the right to say whatever they want with no regards to the feelings of others. You deserve your cards dear Dana!

answer: HellesBelles girl! That man wasn't born rude. You have to work real hard and dedicate your entire life to develop that much arrogance.

Granny Annie said...

Seriously I enlarged the photo to see what was funny or animated about the cards and all I saw were lovely greeting cards made by talented people and that did not make me laugh. What is happening here?

answer: HUH??

"TIPS TO MAKE YOUR CHRISTMAS LESS STRESSFUL. . . . (next year)"

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ettarose said...

First! Well, because I am nice like you, I have decided to break Santa's kneecaps this year. Next year he will think twice about coming to my house. You want I should leave a message for you. How about "if you bother Dana the BIG dinosaur will eat you and use your reindeer for toothpicks"?

answer: THIS is why Etta and I are gonna have a "two way" before long. And Etta? Break his kneecaps and save some of your aggression for those damn perverted elves.

Chat Blanc said...

haha! I love B. You always have the bestest advice! :)

answer: Another service I offer.

Demeur said...

Gee and I thought Jack Benny was old and cheap. You remember him? No? Liar!

Christmas may be canceled here. The planes aren't flying, the bus terminal is full and the trains aren't running. We'll just tell the kiddies Cheney shot Santa.

answer: Finally!! I found one of the wisemen!!!! And here I thought we were all out of them!! You can also tell them that Etta broke his kneecaps.

SassyTwoSocks said...

Awesome. I especially like the White Castle plan.

answer: Now that everyone knows, we might be going to Denny's.

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

The only thing stressful this xmas for me is, not knowing where I am gonna be living next year. Meanwhile I am packing up all the bric-a-brac,vases, small statues, etc , etc, etc----Mayflower gets to do the big stuff---Xmas day will be spent with the clan, then back home and will spend the first of the year hosting lookee-loo's. (I don't think I really need 29 champagne flutes anymore) (sigh)

answer: Darlin, did you EVER need 29 champagne flutes? Wow.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Im just pretending to have a deadly disease that is very contagious.

answer: You beat me to it this year. But I'm usually VISITED by ones with contagious diseases. And they usually say things like: "I felt too bad to go elsewhere so I came here."

BBC said...

I have a cell phone, somewhere.

Not sure what my christmas dinner will be in the campground, I'm thinking creamed tuna over toast.

I hate christmas, it's always bothered me. People are so greedy, I live in a 12 X 15 foot room and get by on $881.00 bucks a month and still manage to help others.

But I get taken at times and I will post about that on Wednesday morning before I head out camping over christmas.

answer: You've got it made BBC.

Kathi D said...

But (whiiiiiiiiiine) we don't have White Castle! Only the stupid White Castle burgers in the freezer section. What am I to doooooooooo?????????

answer: Heat those suckers up and take'em out to the lion safe refuge you made for the puppies. Kick back and munch away. . . . .(it doesn't count if you take your cell phone)

jill jill bo bill said...

Ok, we will meet you there.

answer: Well shit and damn. I guess we ARE going to Denny's.

Granny Annie said...

Speaking of the "white haired crowd" there aren't many any more. Clairol has eliminated 80% of the elderly. Your White Castle gathering could be small.

answer: There's a lot of white haired BLONDS out there, have ya noticed?

Wayne John said...

dinosaurs, hahahaha, great analogy Dana. Last thing I want to be seen around are other bald men, is it different with white hair?

Oh shit, Santa was shot by Cheney?

answer: BULLETIN: Santa was shot by Cheney after Etta broke his kneecaps. News at ELEVEN.

nikkicrumpet said...

ROFL ...."assuming someone is dead" yeah that says "merry Christmas" for sure LOL you kill me!

answer: I either change a lot of things about the way I feel about Christmas or there's gonna be a LOT of people "assumed" dead around here. . . . until the bodies are found.

Bee said...

White Castle?? Why would you want to be burping on Christmas?

answer: Burping? I was counting on some white castle farting.

MRMacrum said...

Your hints are top notch. But I would add at least one more. "If gift buying is absolutely necessary, do it in January and stash the presents until August and then mail them."

Actually though I would prefer to hang out at Denny's. They serve breakfast 24/7.

answer: Shit and Damn. Now I guess we're going to Bob Evans.

"BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR FRIENDS AT DEMENTIA GUIDE"

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nikkicrumpet said...

Now THERE is an ad that SHOULD be on your blog hehehe

answer: I have never had so much fun doing an ad in my LIFE!! (I did ads in my BC life) I told the company to send me more of that type, since this is the place that NEEDS interventions.

Megryansmom said...

I was going to say something ,but I forgot.

answer: Wha??

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

I'm not in the mood---but I forgot why?

answer: Who are these people and why are they writing?

jill jill bo bill said...

That scares me. And I have no idea why.

answer: If you are scared, this is NOT the place for you because....what?

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

when watching tv, and a commercial comes on, I go out for a beer or a snack----LOL---seems now I get the same urge when it happens in the Bloggosphere------

answer: Gary, Gary, Gary. Why don't you follow directions? I SAID time and time again: DO NOT READ ANYTHING THAT BEGINS WITH 'BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR FRIENDS AT" if it's going to make you a fat alcoholic.

So, just go into the kitchen and get a banana.

"CLEAN-UP. AISLE SEVEN."

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Lilly's Life said...

HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Loved it!! Have a great Christmas!

answer: (Obviously she hasn't REALLY been reading my blog)

Granny Annie said...

Twelve cans each and he could look good too:)

answer: Good one Granny!

CaJoh said...

Got here from Mergyansmom who incorporated your post into one of her own.

I don't know if I've ever been floored by my wife while shopping, but I can imagine seeing it happen to someone else the next time I go.

answer: And ya'll come back, ya hear?

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

Now that joke is funny, and shows a bit more sophistication than the normal run of the mill stuff. You and yours have a great Christmas and a fantastic New Year. (thanks for all the support and comments you have thrown my way this year, appreciate it a lot.)

answer: Gary, I love ya as much as one person can love another person that they have never met. I've been right there with ya, through it all, including the fluff n fold. You'll probably be getting a telephone call from someone living in Indiana after your clan leaves.

SassyTwoSocks said...

Dudes just don't get it...

answer: Sassy, I honestly think WOMEN don't get it. A drunk man is a happy man.

The Blog Fodder said...

Man looking for his wife in Wal-Mart runs into another man looking for his wife. "What does your wife look like? If we both look for both wives, we'll save time" "Well, she is about 5'5", tight blue jeans, 38C bust and a low cut red blouse, long blonde pony tail. And your wife?" "Forget my wife lets just look for yours".

answer: You just described ME!!! (I'm in the Depends aisle)

ettarose said...

Dana, good one. I think he was looking for beer glasses wasn't he?

answer: Beer glasses! I never thought of that one!!! 500/500 vision but you don't care!

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL and he deserved it...but then he probably deserves having some beer too!

answer: And cheers to you too nikki!

Moe Wanchuk said...

I 100% agree with him!

answer: Moe, close your mouth. You know you get Jill all hot and bothered.

"SO IT'S OFFICIALLY CHRISTMAS EVE....NOW WHAT"

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ettarose said...

Damn it Dana, I am still laughing at the other post. I guess my suggestion for you two to go to Florida was vetoed? Well, then how about riding an ass down to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. You will get so much damned sunshine you'll o.d. on Vitamin D. Don't worry, I am still thinking of where you two can go.

answer: Florida. Plastic grass. Sandburs. No see'ems. And everything is owned by USA AMEREKANS. or so the signs say. There's just too many answers to "riding an ass" so I'm gonna pass.

The Blog Fodder said...

Take the railway trip. Cross Canada is well worth it. Inspite of teh country being full of Canadians. Can't you take Lucky? Or give him a break and put him in a kennel with hundreds of other dogs where he can have a good time with his friends.

answer: Lucky is 17 and too old and too spoiled for a cage. Can I "carry" in Canada? Nevermind.

jill jill bo bill said...

Ok, fine. I am tearing up the cruise tickets I had for you. sigh.

answer: Uh, well, there's always the chance I might change my mind. . . . it's not for Carnival is it? Please say 'no'.

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

well take that cruise, it comes with a Casino----not to mention, six meals a day (lol)

answer: Joe already tried that approach. CASINO??? REALLY???? Yeah. He almost got me.

Dennis the Vizsla said...

I'm not too fond of Florida either, but a cruise would be worse because I'm VERY not fond of throwing up.

answer: I wouldn't mind the extra movement in the bed. . . . Joe and I could use the rest. . . but if I have to throw up, I ain't goin'.

Thinkinfyou said...

I can't believe you don't like Florida! This just means you haven't been shown the REAL Florida!! If you make it down this way,look me up and I'll show you around,and change your mind!

answer: You might be thinkin': They'll never take me up on my offer. But if you aren't any farther down south than Hernando, we'll visit the next time we're there.

Sue said...

Since I'm leaving on MY cruise in 10 days..yes only TEN days and I"m outta here...I vote for the cruise. There's a CASINO onboard Dana!! Room service...FREE room service. You and Joe would only have to come out of your room to visit the Casino...you would'nt have to put up with anyone else. I'm sure you two could think of SOMETHING to do in a room all by yourselves...lol
Merry Christmas!!

answer: Yo Ho Ho!! And a bottle of rum!! Enjoy honey!!

"WHEN WOMEN FALL IN LOVE. . . . YEAH, IT'S AN "R" RATED CHRISTMAS"

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ettarose said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA
You crack me up you big hunk of Women love! Yes, now the world knows we have a girl crush on each other. And NO! you pervs that will read this CANNOT take pictures or anything else.Well maybe Joe, but I think it is too much for him to take. Now that I smell unbelievably vanillowy I think I am ready for anything.

answer: First, don't call me "big" anything. I prefer "your majesty". Yep world. We have a crush on each other and photos are NOT permitted. (pssst....call me and we can make a deal)

As for Joe? Too much? HA!!! As long as he can take photos with one hand we've got our director!!!

wolfqueen2 said...

Bwahahahahahahaha You just made me spit coffee every where. I love, love, love, visiting your blog. Your dog picture makes me smile every time I see him. Being an old country girl just helps the smile along.

answer: Hey people. . . we got a winner and "Here's your sign"! She comes here and reads about hot lesbian sex and still talks about my hound dog!

Megryansmom said...

Sweet Baby Jesus, I'm blinded by the thought and yet I can't help but continue to gawk at you and your love goddess wrestling in the figgy pudding.

answer: Ain't it the truth? Kinda like watching a train wreck as it's happening.

Mike said...

"and the connection was immediate on both our parts"

damn, I love that girl on girl grinding shit ;)

answer: Mike, we might be able to make a deal regarding any videos you have in mind.

jill jill bo bill said...

This redhead is extremely jealous. Be gentle, Ettarose. She is so fragile and a whiner.

answer: Etta, meet Jill. She wasn't my first, but she wants to be my last.

Marvel Goose said...

I have always wondered what that graphic meant at the left top of this blog. You know, the one where the cat licks a heart out of the fogged glass?

Now we know, it means p***** (humm try again) p***** (man this is a tough spam filter) p*****(ok, time for the lame synonym) kitty licker!

answer: That's from Kath of MagicSandwich fame. Another of my lover wannabe's.

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

----"meanwhile, back at the other end of the trailer park------"

answer: Oh Gary. You know you'd be my first choice if we didn't bat for different teams.

Marvel Goose said...

My review at Digg and Stumbleupon:

"Christmas Lesbian Sex. If that doesn't make you click, you don't have a pulse"

Let us know how this viral campaign works out!

answer: THANK YOU FOR THE DIGG AND STUMBLE!! (you're invited to watch)